I'm fucking sick to death of hearing people talk about sustainable living.

"I only buy organic, I only buy things that are recycled, I don't buy plastic, I have a compost pile, I drive a fucking Prius..." blah blah fucking BLAH. They do all these things to live "green" yet still stuff their fat faces full of death and torture!!

Bike more, don't have kids, sort your trash for recycling... yeah yeah, I've heard all this. The number one thing you can do to help the environment is to STOP EATING AND USING ANIMAL PRODUCTS.

Plain and simple.

>> Somewhere in Iowa, a pig is being raised in a confined pen, packed in so tightly with other swine that their curly tails have been chopped off so they won't bite one another. To prevent him from getting sick in such close quarters, he is dosed with antibiotics. The waste produced by the pig and his thousands of pen mates on the factory farm where they live goes into manure lagoons that blanket neighboring communities with air pollution and a stomach-churning stench. He's fed on American corn that was grown with the help of government subsidies and millions of tons of chemical fertilizer. When the pig is slaughtered, at about 5 months of age, he'll become sausage or bacon that will sell cheap, feeding an American addiction to meat that has contributed to an obesity epidemic currently afflicting more than two-thirds of the population. And when the rains come, the excess fertilizer that coaxed so much corn from the ground will be washed into the Mississippi River and down into the Gulf of Mexico, where it will help kill fish for miles and miles around. That's the state of your bacon — circa 2009. <<

From this TIME magazine article.  http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1917458,00.html

end rant. >:(

Here's a true Twitter story:

I read in the entertainment section of the newspaper that Green Day was playing in Seattle the very same night we were there. So I jumped on UberTwitter (a Blackberry app I use for tweeting) and searched for "green day" on twitter. I was really only curious to see what kind of douchebags still listen to Green Day.... but I came across a tweet conversation between two people. "Oh, I'd love to go to the zombie walk if I weren't going to green day tonight" so I looked up the original tweet and found that the first person was inviting the green day douche to attend the WORLD'S LARGEST ZOMBIE WALK... happening right there, in Seattle, the SAME night we are there!! How fucking cool is that?!

So, those who think Twitter is for idiots who can't muster up the brain cells to write actual long-ass boring blog posts can SUCK A DICK.

If it weren't for Twitter, I would have missed this most righteous zombie event!! SO SUCK IT, HATERS.

The thought of attending a zombie walk terrified me. The only thing I could think of that might be worse is a world's largest slug contest in which I had to judge the size of the slugs. Zombie's scare the fuck out of me. But we went and I'll be damned, it was awesome. We even registered Xander with the Guiness Book of World Records people, to make sure he counted in the final zombie head count. They ended up with just shy of 4,000 people. And about 90% of the zombies were not terror inducing. The other 10... pretty scary, but I did ok. There were zombie dogs, kids, brides, punks, emo brats, zombie old people, an Elvis, joggers, cops, zombie hunters, zombie bananas, even a zombie Marilyn Monroe. Very awesome Indeed.

We had a great time in Seattle. The weather was totally perfect. We found an awesome radio station. We found lots of vegan places to eat. We stopped in Portland on the way up and shopped at the Vegan "strip mall" I found vegan marshmellows. I think if it weren't for the rain, I'd do my damndest to move. Seth's dad had a house in Auburn which is fairly close to Seattle (maybe 15 minutes away). His uncle Rick wants to sell it, but after we were there I really wanted to stop him. The house needs a lot of work, and I have no idea where the money would come from, but man, I started dreaming of getting the hell out of Butte County. This of course is all dreaming... because I know how bad the slugs are up there, how much it rains and how often it's NOT in the 80's temp-wise (like it was this past weekend)...

We stayed at the house of some old friends of Seth's mom and stepdad. This house is AMAZING. It has totally gorgeous surroundings, like a large tree house. It has a creek that runs both in front and in back of it. Sleeping with the windows open up there was BLISS. No gnarly bugs came in and it was really cool at night and the sound of the creek was completely soothing. I fell completely in love with that house. :)

I'm amazed at how much Seattle stole my heart. I can't wait to go back up. <3

My ridiculously awesome husband gave me an anniversary present and my birthday present a little early this year. Our anniversary is May 26th and my birthday is June 9th. But it's all good... He gave me a Nintendo DSi to replace my old (kinda breaking) DS. But wait! There's more! He also got me the Wii Fit game and balance board. Maybe most girls aren't happy when the man in their life gives them a fitness thingy, but I was, and still am super excited! :) Someone just recommended to me that I get one to making working out more fun and voila! He was all over that! :)

So, we pretty much spent most of yesterday playing with the Wii... We alternated from the fit stuff to a couple of games we downloaded. It was a lazy-ish day yesterday.

Seth is awesome. I feel lucky to have such a thoughtful, kind, patient, forgving, caring, smart, handsome, funny and basically just all-around fabulous man in my life!!

Husbands, FTW!

I'm teh hardcorez!!1

I know it's only been a week, but I've been kicking much ass on my calorie counting and exercising. My mom is really helping keep me motivated to go to the gym. Sunday, she even came over and played the Wii with me! :) We bowled, we played baseball, we golfed, we played tennis... granted, it's all virtual, but there is more movement required than just thumbs! :)

Seriously though. I've been doing really good. I'm finding evening to be my hardest times. I want to snack on wheat thins, and fig newtons and eat a whole box of pasta. But I don't. I've also been craving mashed potatoes like nobody's business! And bread! OOh man... I think my body is begging for more carbs... unfortunately they are too high in calories.

I find it interesting that when I'm counting calories, I'm totally opposite of when I'm not. I'm cheap with my calories... I'm like, "Oh no... that's got 100 calories! It's not WORTH that many!!" Which is good, but it's just kind of funny. When not counting, I normally just eat and eat, which is how I got like I am now.

Anyway, I've been kicking ass. And I'm feeling awesome. :)

Well, only a few days after I posted how fat I was I had a life changing event....

I think I had a diabetes kind of sugar shock episode thing the other night. I had a few Red Vines and then 10 minutes later i was shaking really bad. I was lightheaded and suddenly like, drop dead tired. I couldn't think clearly. I felt so shitty. It passed after about 20 minutes.

It scared the HELL out of me. Enough to kind of stop and go "I'm fucking destroying my body."

Xander is the most important thing in my world. Would I give up my time with him for pizza? Would I trade him for a bowl of rice pilaf? No. FUCK NO.

So, I'm back on the calorie counting and exercising program I should have stayed on all along.

Two days into this, I'm doing good. I expect by Friday, I'll want to eat an entire Taco Bell. >:(

Yesterday I walked for just shy of an hour on the treadmill at the gym at like almost running speed. I was so out of breath, red faced and sweating buckets. I'm so freaking gross. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate hate hate my body.

I've got a nice little calorie counter program on my blackberry so I'm using that to help me keep track. And I just ordered my 2009 Calorie King book that has calorie contents for tons of stuff.

I'm doing this for Xander. It's a bonus for me, but it's mostly for him. He needs his mom to live and be healthy.

Dirk linked me to a book about why people eat too much, like, what drives people to eat so much and I ordered that. I know what my triggers are, for the most part and what my weaknesses are. I just need to find the will power to ignore them all.

It's just food, right? Why I have a problem with it, I will never know!! Grr.

I weigh 284 lbs.

My BMI is 41.93 which is "morbidly obese"
(BMI is over 40 = Obese Class 3:Morbid Obesity. With a BMI of 40+ you have an extremely high risk of weight-related disease and premature death.)

I wear a size 20/22

I am one fat fucker.

I hate myself for being this fat.

I'm hoping that by revealing this to anyone who happens upon my journal, I will feel ashamed enough to actually stick with my plan to do something about this!!!

The weather is so nice. It's so hard for me to concentrate and work.

I've got a busy weekend planned and I'm excited about it.

Bday parties, raking, kite flying, drinking and eating with friends, mini-road tripping. I'm super excited. :)

Now if I could only decide what to wear!!! :P

This is the hardest day ever to work!!

It's nice outside, I just had almost two weeks off work, and I'm so totally unfocused!!

And I have a lot of stuff on my desk to do... I wish someone would pay me to Twitter. :)

Day 3 of the furlough....

( if you're really really bored... )

Oh yeah, and happy 311 day!!!! :)

First day of my furlough from work.

I was total bliss!! I took Xander to the doctor this morning, and he basically just said he's got another cold. Poor kid was sooo close to being totally healthy. I suspect it was Chuck E. Cheese that infected him. That or the park. He had a lot of fun, and I can't keep him in a bubble so I guess I have to deal with him getting germs and getting sick. It's just maddening. I hate to see him suffer. AND I hate to deal with him when he's so cranky. NOTHING pleases him. Normally, he's a really happy kid too!

After that, we hung out with Poppy (Seth) and then when Poppy left for work we ran a few errands and then took a big nap. Then we played some more and I put him down for bed. I would so rock the stay at home mom gig, if I had the chance. I don't know if I could give up working, though. I really do enjoy it. Even if Seth earned enough for me to stay home, I just don't know. Maybe I could do graphic design part time or something.

The rest of the week is slated to be busy... no matter what, though... it's better than work. :)

I should be working... but I'm just so distractable today.

Seth and I have been tossing around an idea to get tattoos. Just a little X.

My dilemma is that I don't ever want anyone to see it, unless I want them to see it, you know? But basically, I don't ever want anyone to see it.
And, it has to be somewhere a tattoo person will be able to work with, so no butt or thighs or anything like that.

We joked that if/when we have another kid... it needs to be an O name... then we can have hugs and kisses. ^_^

Dorky, I know.

Anyway... I'm looking for tattoo location suggestions... and George, don't get excited, this is not a definite plan. ;)

Oh, and ew, I just got a "bowl of fruit" from the grubby diner next door to my work and it was all melon... and the orange melon (cantaloupe, I think) tasted like carrots. I love watermelon. The rest of the melon world can eat a dick. I hate them.

I heard it's supposed to snow up here in the hills tonight.

*sigh*

I have a lot of work to do this week.

Xander got his first haircut today... He's such a big boy! It's nuts! where the heck has the time gone?!

Sometimes I think it's odd that I wish I were bulimic.

So Saturday evening, Seth and I were puttering around Target. I was overloading on heart stuff (me: EEEEEEEE!!! Look!! I need that!!! Oh, wait, look over there!! EEEEEEEeee I need THAT!!) Poor Seth. I love hearts... loved them since I was a little girl. Valentines day is hard for me because there's always lots of heart stuff I think I need. Heart shaped: cake pans, muffin pans, pancake flippers, dish towels, table cloths, Ramekin ceramic bowls, pillows, pj's, shirts..... the list goes on. I would surround my life in hearts if it were possible and didn't make my house look like an 8 yr. olds playhouse. I add "hints of hearts". Anyway, I'm getting way off the subject.

So, I'm looking at the funny shirts for little boys while Xander plays in the shopping cart and Seth pretends to care about the shirts I want to buy for Xander, when suddenly: WHAM!........ fuck!!! shit!!! 

Xander falls right over the friggin' side of the cart on his back, on to the hard-ass floor. Lucky for him the metal ring that the wheels attach to at the bottom of the cart kind of broke the fall for his head, or he would have slammed the back of his head right on that floor... The machine gun like inhale of breathe comes just before the scream that lets everyone in the entire store know that we are fucking retard parents...

hu....hu...hu...HU....HU...HU................WWWHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor kid, I can't blame him. That was one of his only chances to scream for help from these torturer people he has to call parents.

No, in all seriousness, we were a lot more freaked out than he was. I think it scared him more than hurt.

Most of the day Sunday he was cranky (can you blame him, we tried to kill him) and Monday/Tuesday he was cranky, overly tired and wouldn't eat very much. In fact, he's mostly sustained life on blueberries this week. Then Wednesday, the kid sleeps like ALL day. He does a 12.5 hour night, then take two long-ass naps. Seth and I are starting to worry now... Xander's a good sleeper (most of the time he's a 12 hour a night with 1 longish nap kind of kid) and he's also a good eater (he's a Hendrick, after all.)

My mom calls me at work Wednesday night and says "Xander doesn't look right, Jen. Something's wrong." so I Instant Message Seth and tell him and he says "Do you think he might have a concussion?" so we frantically start searching the internet for concussion symptoms. YEP, that's it... we figured it out. Suddenly, because Seth and I have browsed WebMD, we are pediatricians! We're in panic mode now. I rush to my mom's to see him, if only to get one last kiss in before he dies....

When I get there, my mom says "Jen, he does NOT have a concussion! He's got a fever. He's probably got an ear infection or something."

Oh. Hmm. Now I feel like an idiot.

Sooo, long story short... Xander does NOT have a concussion but some kind of virus... which is odd, because his only symptoms are a fever and "a little redness" in the back of his throat. No ear infection and they tested for Strep, which it is not. Poor kid got sick just before Christmas, and had gotten over that one... now this. I swear, I'm going to stop taking him out in public. No more cart-diving at Target for that kid.

I am considering making him wear a helmet until he's 18 and in charge of his own skull.

I have eaten about 20 lbs of mandarins in the last two weeks... (I'm counting the empty 5 lb. boxes around me at work right now)

I just spent $20 at Costco for more. (15 more lbs.)

I don't know what I'll do when mandarins are out of season.

I love tangerines/mandarins/oranges. I hate peeling oranges, though, and they're messy when you cut them, so I never eat them.

Xander really likes the mandarins too, but when he eats to many, he starts to get a little rashy on his butt. It's frustrating, because I feel like he should be free to eat them, but I worry about his tuckus... burning buttcheeks makes for bratty baby and bitchy mom. It must be weird to be (gah!) 14 months old and have someone examine your buttcheeks a lot.

At least I'm addicted to a fruit right now... better than being addicted to Angie's vegan chocolate cake. Now that stuff is dangerous. ;)

Making a list of resolutions always seemed dumb to me. I never keep them going for more than a few days. I'm blaming the month of January. I hate January so much! It's dismal, cold, no good holidays, the spring school semester starts, everyone's in debt, and it's dismal and cold. Did I already mention that one? Yeah. Well, it should be noted twice. Once the new year comes, I'm still riding the "holidays high" and feeling like I could accomplish anything with the support and love of my family; with a little Dean Martin singing about it being cold. But a week into January and I feel depressed, miserable and I fucking loathe winter... But, I digress.

I feel like writing resolutions this year... for whatever reason.... Just some thoughts of things I'd like to accomplish this year.

Lose weight (This one is always on my list. It's like the permanent entry on my to do lists. One of these days, I'm really going to do it.)
Use my gym membership properly (see above resolution)
Stop smoking (I don't smoke regularly...but I figure if I have one thing on here that is already accomplished, I'll feel better about the list as a whole.)
Eat healthier (Vegans cannot live on Oreos and rice pilaf. Or I guess they can, but they shouldn't.)
Spend more quality time with Xander (I think my work will be less stupid this year, so this might actually happen for me.)
Take the time to write to the old people in the family who live out of state, and like my kid. (I feel bad that we only send out a xmas letter... we're lazy.)
Stop being so lazy/manage time better (see above)
Meet new people
Study the Bible more (I hate it when someone starts talking about one of the stories in the Bible and I have no clue what they're talking about. I get the basics. I want to learn more.)
Join a sports team (I've been wanting to do softball for quite some time now... Now I just need to commit and do it!)
Read more (Once work slows down, I'll be able to get back into the bookclub. And I'd like to find more people to go, too!!)
Pay off credit cards (I'm fucking determined to get two of our big credit cards paid down. I want to be debt free-er by Halloween)
Start saving for that backpacking trip to Italy. (someday.... I swear!)

This isn't a complete list... but a good start.

Right now, I should be writing the Hendrick Family Newsletter (our version of the xmas card) and getting it ready to mail... but I just can't focus.

Xander is running about the house, banging on stuff, and smiling at me every time he catches me watching him.

He's finally figured out that if he touches the xmas tree he gets in trouble. This week, Seth came upon him standing and staring at it, maybe two inches away. Seth stood in silence waiting to see what he was going to do. Xander let out a very heavy sigh and walked away. :)

Although the xmas tree reminds me of when I was little, it's really more of a requirement for Seth.  Xander seems to enjoy it. He talks to it a lot.

My mom had to put one of her dogs to sleep yesterday. We think he had lymphoma. He was 9 years old, a big dog, and she didn't want to put him through chemo or anything like that. He had a bunch of blood work done, and he was very sick. But our family is used to having the CDC, otherwise known as the Christmas Death Curse, so as sad as we are, we are used to someone dying or being seriously maimed around the holidays. It's just not Christmas if everyone has a pulse.

It's snowing!!

Xander seems very curious and excited!

And we got a Christmas tree last night... I'm excited to put it up tonight! :)

Life is grand!